Hey y’all. I had this vivid dream last night that was so detailed & felt so powerful, I thought it would be a shame not to share it. I thought it would be entertaining to present it in the form a rough script for a one act play. I even threw in a handful of pop culture allusions to one time popular terms &, for those of you who can handle it, even a bit of social satire. CAUTION: I use some slang from & even a handful of private idiomatic expressions. Follow along if you can, but don’t read too far into this: it was JUST A DREAM, man!
Hot Blonde from my past is sitting on my right in a hot tub. She’s acting like we’re “together” & I’m going along with it but not overanalyzing what it means. I don’t mind if she talks to other men while she’s with me; I’m not too possessive, just enjoying the attention & the semi-exclusive access to her that she allows me. I’m in an outdoor hot tub with the jets either lightly on or not on at all. She sits down next to me on the right side & presses her body tightly against mine. I’m a little surprised but I weave my right arm inside her left arm & she accepts. I rub her smooth, female thigh while she rests her left hand on my right thigh. Other people start to show up. At first, it’s the Young Thick who I believe is vacationing with us. He sits down to my left a couple of feet away. I remember feeling relaxed & confident. I have my hot, blonde, flight attendant loving up on me at my right. I have my young but impressionable body guard buddy to my left. I’m feeling good about my own physique as well. Out here, I’m obviously a “have,” not a “have-not.”
WARNING: A NEW CHALLENGER ENTERS THE ARENA
An unknown Caucasian male unexpectedly shows up & takes a seat in the hot tub on Hot Blonde’s right side. He looks like college kid with the surfer boy hair from the gym–but older, more confident, & huskier. He cautiously takes notice of Kara but respectfully avoids engaging her in conversation as she is a stranger. But Kara eagerly strikes up a conversation with him. He quickly warms up to the idea of getting to know her & shoots an occasional wary glance my way while he tries to assess my relationship to her. Although Kara is verbally attentive to him, she continues to love up on me physically. To curtail any awkwardness, I coolly acknowledge the stranger to let him know that I was in the picture without chasing him off. If Kara wanted to talk to him, he could talk to her. But she was still with me. In the past, an interaction like this would have angered me. Today, I stayed cool though. I was connected to Kara but not attached. We weren’t together “together;” we were together enough. I was closer to her then this cat was & that’s all that mattered. I’m the one who was rubbing up on the top & inside of her left thigh. New guy didn’t want no smoke.
I mostly engaged my Young Thick bodyguard on my left. Despite his immense physical presence, he had adopted a deferent attitude in the current setting He was spoke to me freely but was silent towards our companions, even Kara, who knew him. I caught glimpses in his eyes of silent admiration as he assessed how I dealt with the potential challenger to my love interest without going absolute nuts. I was allowing my girl freedom but wasn’t allowing anyone to punk me either. It seemed as if Young Thick was taking notes on how he might act if in a similar situation.
ENTER, STAGE RIGHT
A new player then entered the arena from “stage right.” He walked behind us & took his seat in the hot tub to the Young Thick’s left. If you were to plot a seating chart outlining the five of us, we formed a capital “L.” The new stranger, Young Thick, & I made the long vertical line. The hot blonde & potential creeper made the short horizontal line. At this point, I was still in confident & in control. I did not perceive the newcomer a threat. I actually recognized him once he got settled into the water. He was a casual acquaintance. He wasn’t a friend, but there was respect between us. There would be no smoke.
But the stage had been set for change. A battle-hardened adversary once said of his enemies: “When they feel the strongest is actually the time they are most vulnerable.” Young Thick seemed to realize this before I did, because he began watch me carefully to gauge my reaction to the new challenger. Seeing no threat, I greeted my acquaintance. In this situation, it was clear that the hot tub was my home. I had been there first. I was there with the hot blonde on my arm. I even had a tall, muscled up, young man at my side to handle any light work, if need be. Like a lion feeling secure in his home territory, I graciously allowed these two new men into my domain as a host opens the doors to his own home to guests. But, if any guest chose to start trouble, the law would favor my swift & potentially violent response. Whatever happened here, I was in the right. Castle Doctrine extends to public recreational places like resort jacuzzis, night clubs, & bars. It didn’t have to be written in any arbitrary law book. Any red-blooded American male with half a sense of honor was sworn to abide by these rules on pain of death! I knew the rules; there would be no need for smoke today.
Again, I’m recounting a dream that I had last night. In long dreams like this one, the details between transition scenes become fuzzy. To summarize, Hot Blonde predictably started talking to Acquaintance guy. I didn’t mind because she does this to every new guy who happens to cross paths with us while we’re together anyway; but then she explained that she knew him to. Before I even had a chance to trigger my alarm bells, people started to disappear. I noticed that Creeper Guy had left. My Young Thick was no longer a factor as he had politely excused himself to go inside. Before long, Hot Blonde had taken more than a casual interest in Acquaintance guy. She was now on my left in between me & Acquaintance Guy. Although she was still holding my hand, she had most of her body turned towards him. Occasionally, she’d turn to her right to smile talk to me or even blow me a kiss then wink. But those occurrences became fewer & fewer fast. Even I remember right, she was still holding my left hand with her right when they started making out furiously. Shocked, I braced myself to hold on. As I gathered myself to prepare what to say, prepping my body for a possible confrontation, she stopped kissing him & for the first time in a long time–focused her attention just on me. Her eyes were sad & glue as she feigned an apologetic look. She broke away from her new lover & leaned in close to me while she whispered quietly: “It’s okay. He & I have been seeing each other for a while. It’s give me a few minutes & we can hang out later.”
1453—THE OTTOMAN TURKS
Without a word, I emerged from the pool to go back inside. When this newcomer arrived, people starting to disappear. And now, I was disappearing to. I took one last glance as the beautiful, tall, blonde voraciously turned her full attention towards the newcomer as she threw herself into a frenzied embrace with him. Their two bodies sunk beneath the white bubbles of the whirlpool jets. As they sunk beneath the service, I turned away never to look upon them again. Although they were out of sight, I could still see everything come tumbling down.
It was a long walk back into the resort. Looking back, it must have been uncomfortable to go from a hot water jacuzzi to open air without having toweled off; but I don’t remember feeling cold. I passed through the lobby of our resort, past my Young Thick friend without casting a glance his way. I made my way into a small kitchenette off to the side of the main lobby. My sister was in there eating something. She immediately greeted me by telling me about what she had just been through. I didn’t want to talk but politely listened, not making eye contact. I was still shell-shocked from having had my entire kingdom plundered from right underneath my nose. There was a covered plate on the table that I instinctively knew was supposed to be mine. When I lifted the cover, I saw a half-consumed meal. My sister then explained that she had decided to eat half of my meal. For the first time since I had watched the sinking of the Titanic underneath the cold North Atlantic waves, I spoke; and the words were harsh.
I blew up at my sister the way I had only blown up at a true enemy in the past, like that Fat Bald. In fact, it was as if my consciousness had separated from myself & I seemed to be listening to myself talk the way I bystander would. I was stunned at the harshness of my words but was too frozen to act.
My sister was quick to counter-attack me. She called me a hypocrite & screamed out that I was selfish. I caught my breathe & tried to explain that I had just experienced the worst day of my life. She didn’t seem to care. When I reminded her that she had eaten my dinner without permission, she finally snapped to. She grew silent, perhaps recognizing that she had over-reacted then asked: “Well. What do you expect me to do to make that right now?” Then she walked out.
Her words struck me. Was everything suppose to make something right? Couldn’t things just be? There were some things that couldn’t be made right. That collapse of Rome that I had just witnessed out on the pool deck….nothing was going to make that right.
I sunk down into the chair. I was afraid to move, lest the day somehow manage to get even worse! Lyrics from a song from a by-gone era came to mind . . . something about “the shape of an L on their forehead.”
Less than two hours ago, I was on top of the world. I was at the apex of my physical existence. I was surrounded by competitors for all the blessings I had already earned from myself, & it was clear that there wouldn’t be “any smoke.”
And indeed, there would not be. But in place of “smoke” . . . “tears.”